Rosh Hashanah and why I'm SO over intentions
I'm sick and tired of intentions.
I'm so damn over repeating words in my mind over and over, in hopes that I'll believe them. And then one day...
This week people around the world celebrate Rosh Hashanah, the lunar calendar Jewish New Year. A great many teachers speak of this being a moment to choose, to set the intention of, to resolve to create a world in which we live by the golden rule. A world in which the needs and desires of others are equal in import to those of our own. A truly beautiful ideal. And one I crave.
So as we move towards this vision for our world, how will we create it?
I'm sick and tired of intentions and resolutions. I'm so damn over repeating words in my mind over and over, in hopes that I'll believe them. During a time of great anxieties in my twenties, I used to lie in bed whispering "I am safe" to myself over and over. No part of me believed it. I have spent decades visualizing the body I wish I lived in. I have not grown an inch nor lost an inch this way. I have made lists, journaled, made art, you name it, I've done it, in hopes of somehow magically waking up as the person I thought I wanted to be, in a world I want to be a part of.
One morning many years ago, I woke up and realized, oh my heavens- I actually love the person I am and the life I live. I actually delight in the world, in my own humor and flesh, in the people around me. This by no means I feel cheerful and happy all the time. I am human and I suffer. BUT. There is a sense of ground, gratitude and joy that does permeate my world. And nourished by this, I have so much more to offer.
There are SO many contributing factors. My family, community, living in the beauty of the Rocky Mountains, therapy, therapeutictrainings, meditation, dharma and embodiment practices. But I kid you not, none of these were about thinking my way through. They weren't about imagining. They weren't about hoping that if I wished and visualized and believed it hard enough, it would come into being. NOPE.
They were about embodying the moment, receiving the moment, moving into the next moment. I don't want to say too much about this because I think this occurs differently for each of us.
But as the gates open in this potent and exciting time of year, my invitation is for you to find your own way to be the change, to find the growth and kindness for yourself and for the world. Maybe for you, like me, dance is your go to. Maybe it's something else. Doesn't matter. Find your way to embody and live into it- not just hope and wish and vision board it. Just saying.